Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Aikido Awkwardness

The problem with aikido being so awkward is that it is a very physical class. Aikido is a martial art based on the art of the Samurai. My friend Kelly and I take it at a "dojo" in Seneca where our teacher set it up. Our teacher is an American, probably in his late forties or early fifties, and used to work as a bodyguard in the secret service for Clinton and Bush. He has a lot of experience, but he sure does say some creepish things. 
For instance, he told one girl student that she looked like a sexy librarian. Then he told the class, "oh, you know those sexy librarians with the glasses and blouses. They wear their hair up, but one day they will just take their glasses off, pull down their hair and unbutton their blouses." Awkward. 
Then, during the same class when he was talking about protection, he looked at some sorority girls in our class and was like, "you girls need to be careful. Maybe you're at a fraternity party and have had something to drink and Billy tells you he wants to show you his fish tank. You say, 'sure Billy!' But when you get up to Billy's room, he locks the door behind you! You say, 'but Billy, where is your fish tank?' and he will say, 'I don't have a fish tank, but now I will show you my guppies!'"
Yes, it is important that girls aren't stupid and know how to protect themselves, but I think the teacher enjoyed telling it unnecessarily. He just makes kind of creepy comments. Like last class, after we watched a video showing some aikido moves, the teacher said, "Don't you wish that boyfriends and girlfriends had an instructional video that they could watch before they do it? And you are never to old to need an instructional video. Just because you are 30 doesn't mean you know what you are doing." So I'm like, great... let's go wrestle with people. : O
Among all the awkward moves and stories was the class where the teacher told me, loud enough that everyone in the class looked to see what was going on, that the way I was doing the move on my partner looked like I was giving him a blow job. He continued and was like, "you have your face right there like you are looking at "it." It doesn't look pretty. What if someone decided to take your picture right then? What would they think?" Then he wanted to show me what it looked like by doing what I was doing to my partner, to which my partner did not seem excited as my teacher repeatedly showed the class how I looked when I was doing this move.
It doesn't help with any of this awkwardness that there are more guys than girls. I've been trying to just work with girls lately because usually the topic of discussion mentioned beforehand is sexual, and it make me uncomfortable to work with the guys. But I will say that the comments do make class more interesting. 
   

1 comment:

  1. Only 1 more class left of Aikido Awkwardness. We will no longer have to endure the sexual harassment. Get pumped.

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