Communication Troubles

I've often considered myself proficient in English. At times I've even felt like I excelled in my native tongue, but sometimes I have so many thoughts rumbling around in my head that I can't channel out one single message. I'll give you two examples from last week: 

1. English conversation class. I've been volunteering at a meeting for International students where we sit around at tables and one native speaker at each table leads the group in conversation in order to improve the conversation skills of Internationals. Last week we played a board game that had a question or prompt on each spot you moved to, like, "What is your greatest ambition?" or "Talk about your greatest fear." 

At my table I had a thirty year old Chinese woman and a fifty year old Turkish man. Neither one of them spoke English very well and we had to work very hard to understand one another. When it was my turn, my piece landed on the prompt, "Do you think people are basically good? Why or why not?" Knowing this was a controversial issue, I began timorously, "Well... I think people are born selfish. You can tell from looking at toddlers that people do not naturally want to share. They learn from society that their behavior is inappropriate and have to modify their behavior in order to be accepted."

Turkish man and Chinese woman looked baffled. Chinese woman asks, "So you do not like people? I love my husband and my child. They mean everything to me. I think they are basically good." 

Before I could say anything, Turkish man agrees, "Yes, you are saying, zat people are not good?? I LOVE people. Zay are so good. You must look... how do you say it? Optimistically? at the world." Then he looks at Chinese woman and they have a bonding moment, and then he asks me, "Do you have a husband?" 

  "No."

Chinese woman joins excitedly, "A boyfriend, maybe?"

  "No."

Then Chinese woman and Turkish man become very happy. Turkish man states with confidence, "Oh! Well this is why you do not like people. You will one day find a man, and then you will think people are good." 

I tried to explain that I was not a bitter people-hater, but it was too late because snack time had arrived and no one wants to miss snacks to listen to the pessimistic single girl. haha. 

2. At the Greenville-Spartanburg Airport. 

Heather and I flew to Texas last Friday from Greenville (GSP) to Houston. Unfortunately we had to leave Clemson at 4am to get there, and I didn't get in bed until 1:30 am the night before. So I was a little out of it when we were about to go through security. I wasn't going to bring my laptop to Texas, but I threw it in my backpack at the last second before we left for the airport. Thus, when the security man asked me whether I had a laptop in my backpack, I said no. 

When the x-ray machines showed that there was a large electronic object in my backpack, they asked me again, "Is there a laptop in your backpack?"  I said no. Finally the little security guy was like, "Well, what in the world is in your backpack?" I said, "well... books...a calculator...scantrons... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...and my laptop."

The security guy seemed really frustrated, but the other security man, who was Hispanic said, "It's okay, she no speak English." I was so grateful for this excuse for my stupidity that I didn't argue at all.